Warlords - Review

Added July 15th, 2008 by Justin McBride

Warlords for the Xbox Live Arcade is the modern revival of the 1980’s arcade title of the same name. Like many Xbox Live Arcade titles, it has been updated with “next-gen” graphics and online multiplayer and leaderboards while still offering the original game for purists to chew on.

Warlords follows a simplistic premise in which you are tasked with protecting your king with a small shield you can freely move around your castle from balls bouncing around the arena. In the squared arena are four castles, situated in each of the four corners. While being forced to defend your king, you must simultaneously mount a strong offense, bouncing the balls strategically to destroy your opponents. Another offensive tactic is the ability to hold and charge one of the balls, releasing it with much more power and speed. This also adds a bit of risk/reward strategy because charging the ball deals damage to sections of wall directly behind it.

Of course, things aren’t always as easy as they seem. At the start of each round, a single ball is released in the arena and at various points during the battle, or after your opponents are destroyed (whichever comes quicker) another ball is loosed in the arena. Eventually, with four balls pinging around the arena, the action can become quite hectic. Unfortunately, there comes a point as you progress through the game that the feeling of utter chaos as four balls rapidly bounce around the arena can sometimes work against it. In the later levels, quick reflexes are a must if you expect to survive. It doesn’t help matters much that the analog stick controls (a far cry from the dial controllers of yesteryear) never feel spot on or particularly precise.

While everything I’ve just said above applies to the “Evolved” version of Warlords, the original version of the game is included featuring a more medieval setting with dragons, fireballs and castles that…resemble actual castles. Only problem is, this version is much more difficult and significantly less entertaining. It would be much more entertaining perhaps if the shield and fireball were a bit bigger. The incredibly small and twitchy shield makes playing the game more of a chore than it should be. Perhaps I just suck at videogames, but for the life of me, I couldn’t make it past the first level. It didn’t help matters that the three AI players seemed to be out to get me. Yes, that’s right; the AI gangs up on you in classic mode games.

In an effort, one can assume to add some extra value to the feature strapped proceedings, a new mode called “Throttle Monkey” was thrown in. This strangely titled mode can be played in either the evolved or classic versions and is, by far, the steepest challenge you’ll face. This mode begins at an incredibly fast pace; incredibly fast to the point of being nearly impossible to progress far in. It requires near superhuman reflexes to react to the blazing fast speed of the balls in the arena. Without them, in the blink of an eye (quite literally in some instances), the game will end in defeat. Allow me to reiterate, it isn’t impossible but unfortunately, it’s just not entertaining or fun.  

The meager offerings of this “enhanced” version of Warlords for the Xbox Live Arcade just cannot compare to other, much better games on the Xbox Live Arcade. Back in the 1980s, this game may have been hot stuff but it feels positively archaic today. The visuals and presentation are decent enough but they don’t do much to cover up the shallow gameplay, imprecise controls, unnecessarily difficult classic version and horribly un-fun Throttle Monkey mode. Better games can be bought with 400 Microsoft Points so do yourself a favor and defend yourself, and your wallet, from these Warlords.