Yaris

Added October 24th, 2007 by Justin McBride

My brain aches as I reflect on the time I wasted playing Yaris, most likely as a means to spite me for putting up with it for as long as I did. Yaris, for the Xbox Live Arcade is likely the first in a long line of playable advertisements; hopefully the only one that is this bad.

In gameplay highly reminiscent to that of the mediocre racing game, Tube Slider, you get behind the wheel of your very own Yaris.  Piloting through eight monotonous, sparsely detailed, tube shaped tracks that seem to loop into themselves, all the while blasting away at swarms of enemies you’ll encounter along the way. Sounds like it could be fun doesn’t it? Unfortunately, this is where things fall apart.

The racing and shooting elements are very poorly implemented and the awful control scheme just makes matters worse. Pushing up on the left thumbstick accelerates while the right analog stick and triggers fire your weapons. This doesn’t seem so bad…in theory but it translates quite poorly onto the screen. Sure, the left analog stick accelerates, but in most cases, it’s unnecessary, as it appears that cruise control is a standard feature. Press up on the analog stick to get the car up to speed and release. The vehicle will not slow down unless you run into something or hit a steep incline, in which case, simply repeat and you’re back up to speed in no time. The aiming controls also appear to have the benefit of cruise control, since all you have to do is point the cursor in the general direction of a group of enemies and the game handles the precise aiming itself.

Despite being incredibly shallow, Yaris actually offers a steep challenge. A magnitude of enemies quickly flood the screen with weapons firing directly at you.  This is practically impossible to dodge…that is, unless you ride the outer edges of the track the entire race. Then, they’re mostly a trip down easy street for three laps as you fire down at the hapless (and quite strange) cavalcade of enemies. Suddenly, all the challenge disappears. Even the uninspired boss battles don’t offer much of a challenge.

The lone two-player versus multiplayer mode is also quite problematic because of its almost total lack of balance. Players who have invested a significant amount of time into the game to unlock upgrades for their Yaris are going to have a very significant advantage. This leads to some of the most un fun multiplayer matches you’ll likely ever play as you’re left choking on another player’s exhaust as you desperately scrounge for points, all the while watching your rival’s score climb ever higher, completely eclipsing your own. To help you stay competitive, you’ll also have access to several auras, all mapped to the four face buttons, but you’ll be hesitant to use all but one of them because the rest benefit both players, which makes absolutely no sense in what is supposed to be a competitive race.

The main problem with Yaris is that it’s far too frenetic for its own good. Throughout the course of a race, you’ll run into dozens, if not hundreds, of the strangest variety of enemies you’ll ever see in a tube shooter such as this. There is simply so much happening on screen at any given time that your focus is pulled in all sorts of different directions, ultimately becoming a garbled mess.

When all is said and done, Yaris gives new meaning to the classic phrase “you get what you pay for”. It’s a free game, so I wasn’t expecting this to blow me away. What I did think was that it would be a decent time waster I could play for a few minutes every now and then for kicks. Unfortunately, I was very wrong indeed. Even if you’re hard pressed for a new game to play, you can do far better than this to satisfy your needs. If you still find yourself pining to play it, consider banging your head against the wall for a few minutes or go watch a depressing movie. You can even consider falling down a flight of stairs. All of the above activities will be more entertaining than Yaris.

Avoid this at all costs. Simply put, it’s just a hair shy of being completely broken. Yaris may be free but somehow, I still feel ripped off.